Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Be who you already are.

What are hygiene habits that everyone should have?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

SpaceX launches human remains, reentry capsules and more on Transporter 14 rideshare mission - Space

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

Startling Health Risk: “Normal” Sodium Levels Linked to Heart Failure - SciTechDaily

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

Will Colapinto replace Doohan as second driver at Alpine Team during the 2025 season or is just a rumour of Argentine press?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why do some people admire Latin American cultures but not want to be from or live in those countries?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

There’s a simple solution to the Shemar Stewart impasse with the Bengals - NBC Sports

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Get Ready for More Commercials in Movie Theaters - The Hollywood Reporter

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

The sadness was still there.

‘Game changing’ air conditioner recalled due to mold growth — here’s what to do if you own one of these units - New York Post

And the sadness?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

7 Surprising Home and Garden Mistakes That Could Be Making Your Allergies Worse - Yahoo

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.